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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248063">Lose</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/2chaeng_e/pseuds/2chaeng_e'>2chaeng_e</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Breakup, Closure, F/F, Non-Idol AU, im so sorry chaeyu, needed to vent feelings cuz niki made me cry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:35:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/2chaeng_e/pseuds/2chaeng_e</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"“I’m sorry Tzu but… I can’t do this anymore.”"</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Tzuyu and Chaeyoung find out that sometimes love isn't eonugh and Tzuyu needs closure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chou Tzuyu/Son Chaeyoung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi so this was a really personal work for me, as a lot of it is from my past and honestly i really needed to write this for myself, sorry for any grammar mistakes i haven't really proofread it. listen to lose by Niki  while you read this becase its the entire reason this fic exists lol. i hope you enjoy/ it makes you cry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry Tzu but… I can’t do this anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The second the words were said, Tzuyu could feel the world crashing down around her, like the universe stopped moving and her heart stopped moving with it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Honestly, she expected it, this game of push and pull, all the unresolved fights and the ever growing distance between them. It was really only a matter of time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But even if she thought it would end soon, she never thought that it would feel like this, like she was alone despite Chaeyoung being right beside her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The slow realization that this was over, hit her as she stared at Chaeyoung’s crying face. As they were sitting on the porch outside her house,which held so many happy memories for them, their first kiss, the nights where chaeyoung had to leave making extra time by sitting side by side, secret kisses hidden from her parents, all those happy memories now tinged with this sadness, emptiness creeping into her bones. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>‘Don't cry Tzu, hold it together you can do this.’</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both girls held their breath not knowing what to say or do next, Chaeyoung’s quiet sobs, were all that could be heard, echoing through Tzuyu’s brain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though she tried slowly tears started streaming down her face, a soft “Why?” escaping her lips, causing Chaeyoung to look up at her. As the question was breathed into the world, the first word that spelt the true end for them, that there was no coming back from this caused the last of her willpower to crumble and soon hot and heavy tears fell freely with nothing holding them back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung leaned over, caressing her cheeks wiping the tears away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Babe…” Tzuyu started.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't. I’m sorry Tzu but you can’t call me that anymore.” Chaeyoung said with a sad smile on her face as she said it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me.” Tzuyu said weakly, staring at Chaeyoung’s tear stained face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re just… Not working anymore Tzuyu, and honestly, we haven’t been working for a long time, I don't even know if you love me and I can't take it anymore. We keep playing this game where you call me when you need me and then you toss me aside. I know you don't mean it but I can't help but always feel like I'm not good enough, and I hate myself for not being able to make you love me, and I just can’t anymore I can’t keep doing this. Tzu… I love you but you need to let me go.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu nodded slowly, preparing her heart, knowing that she needed to do this for the both of them, and if not for her then for this girl who did nothing but make her happy, she would let her go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodbye Chae, I hope you find your happiness.”</p>
<p>Chaeyoung smiled, sad but knowing that this was for the best for both of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Goodbye Tzu.” and with that the girl wiped her face, giving Tzuyu one last sad smile she turned walking into the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With every step she took Tzuyu felt her heart crack, each step breaking her heart a little more, until she couldn’t feel anything anymore. All she felt was regret. Maybe if she tried a little more or did things a little different they’d still be together, maybe in another world they could fight all day and kiss all night but sadly it couldn’t happen. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chaeyoung never looked back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu knows she shouldn’t do this, that she has no right to call her anymore, but honestly, she isn't thinking straight, and really she just needed to find some closure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s been years since they broke up but Tzuyu never really moved on, all the meaningless sex, flings and running she did was all to get away from her regrets. She never did get into a serious relationship after her, because she was just too scared to hurt someone the way she hurt Chaeyoung. All she knows now is feeling lonely, the loneliness only growing worse the more she ran away, the self-loathing festering the more she refused to look at herself in the mirror, eating at her more the more she didn't acknowledge it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>‘I don't deserve to be happy.’</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tonight, was where it ended though, she knows that she can't keep running, can't keep hiding from her problems, knows that this needs to end. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looks at her phone screen, her hand cold from the winter night, and the smell of her cigarette overwhelming her senses. She takes another drag trying to mentally prepare herself for what needs to be done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She exhales releasing the smoke into the night, watching it drift away, as if it was free, without a worry and a care, how she wished she were like that too. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu looked at her phone again before pressing the call button, not knowing whether she really wanted her call to be answered or not. As the seconds passed, she grew more anxious, but then she heard it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi this is Chaeyoung… sorry i can’t come to the phone right now but i’ll get back to you soon...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu knows that she shouldn’t cry but just hearing her voice again, god she misses it, she wished for so long that she could hear her happy voice again, could see her smile and maybe it was alright as long as she was happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hearing the beep, Tzuyu knew that even just this was enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi Chae, umm it’s Tzuyu, I know that it's been a long time and I don't even know why I'm doing this but there’s so many things that I want to say to you and I never got the chance to. So, I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um… I'm sorry it's just I really need to say these things because I’m so tired of regretting, so tired Chae, I wish that I treated you better, you were so important to me and so wonderful and I took you for granted. I didn’t know how to love someone back then, but you showed me how to but I didn’t do right by you. “</p>
<p> </p>
<p> She took a deep breath finally admitting to herself all the things she did wrong, finally getting everything out, it hurt but at least it would all be over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry that you didn’t feel loved, I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t good enough, I’m sorry that i couldn’t see what I was putting you through, Chaeyoung i loved you so much and a part of me always will, thank you Chae for everything. I hope, I really hope you're happy now, and I hope that when you think about us, you remember how happy we were, the good times because I know that when I was with you I was happy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm so sorry Chaeyoung, Goodbye.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as she hung up, she sunk to the ground, sobs overcoming her,<em> ‘it’s over it’s over.’</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tzuyu woke up the next day, to a single message on her phone just 9 words and a name.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re forgiven always, I hope you find your happiness.”</p>
<p>                                                                                                -Chaeyoung</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i legit cried multiple times writing this, i remember when me and my ex broke up and she said "you cant call me that anymore" and oof that hit me hard haha. but yea i hope you guys enjoyed it please follow my twitter account @misachaengies for some twice/dreamcatcher content or just to talk to me my dm's are always open! anyways please remember to leave comments and kudos, it really means a lot to all of us authors!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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